[bliss]

Top Ten Reasons Trick-or-Treating is Better Than Sex.

10. You're guaranteed to get a little something in the sack.

9. The uglier you are, the easier it is to get some.

8. It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning & groaning.

7. Less guilt the morning after.

6. It doesn't matter if they fantasize you're somebody else, because you are.

5. Forty years from now, you'll still enjoy candy.

4. If you don't get what you want, you can always go next door.

3. If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go again.

2. You don't have to compliment the person who gives you some.

1. You can do the whole neighborhood!
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Trick-or-Treater Pet Peeves
10. Guys who forgot to buy candy and just offer you a bite of their sandwich

9. Black jelly beans that turn out to be blood-swollen horse ticks

8. The candy bar doesn't taste quite right - then you notice it's a TWO Musketeers

7. When Obama rifles through your bag muttering about a "candy tax"

6. You stop at Michelle Bachman's house, next thing you know you're adopted

5. When Joe Biden answers the door without his shirt on

4. With all these people in disguises, it makes it even harder to find the real killers! (O.J. only)

3. Going to Divine Brown's house and getting a treat, but no trick

2. Getting knocked flat by a pumpkin launched from 230 feet away

1. People who want receipts