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As Christmas Approaches.......
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
"In honor of this holy season" Saint Peter said,"You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven." The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle", he said. "You may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said. The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells." Saint Peter said "You may pass through the pearly gates". The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?" The man replied, "These are Carols." |
Ricer Night before Christmas
I generally post this every year on my Mustang Boards:
Twas the night before Christmas and caught at the light, Was a domestic V8 and no cops in sight, I will try, I will try, I will try with this small motor, To beat this damn Mustang, even with it's big blower, As light goes green and I pull like no joke, The Mustang erupts in clouds of tire smoke, Now Smasher, now Rev-ver, now Stroker, now Blitzin, These are the names of my four VTEC pistons, Racing ahead I'm the Star of the action, But I know I'm in trouble when that V8 gets traction, Grabbing second, I hear the RPM sing, My mirror is blocked by my Shopping Kart Wing, I now hear the roar, of that big monster gaining, All I can do is keep that four-banger straining, In a second, the shockwave hits with a blast, And my stickers go flying now, a thing of the past, Don't bother with third, cause now it's too late, Just try to act cool, like you can relate, Looking up at the taillights as they get smaller, The driver backs off just to give me a holler, "You can't win them all," he says in fling, "You may not win any," in that silly thing, I smiled and revved as he pulled out of sight, With my new mods tomorrow...it will be a better night |
:)
Joe, Now that is pretty darn good. First time I have read that one. Ron :) |
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