The new financial world
 

Subject: Friday Laugher - The new financial world



In our long journey toward's insolvency, perhaps a little humor may help. Look on the ledge of the 40th floor of the BP building at 2:00pm. I should make a grand splat.-jf...


In an effort to continue increasing knowledge and a good vocabulary,

below are the current definitions for Stock Market Terms.



The current definitions of Stock Market Terms:

CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake
himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the
wife gets no jewelry

VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market
keeps crashing.

BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A person whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @
$240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- This past week's investor who's now locked up in a
nuthouse.

PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.

-- :JEKYLHYDE


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