For those thinking about a flu shot..
 

Better than a Flu Shot!

Miss Beatrice,

The church organist,

Was in her eighties

And had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness

And kindness to all.

One afternoon the pastor

Came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room.

She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.

As he sat facing her old Hammond organ,

The young minister

Noticed a cute glass bowl Sitting on top of it.

The bowl was filled

With water, and in the water Floated, of all things, a condom!

When she returned

With tea and scones,

They began to chat.

The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity

About the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.

'Miss Beatrice', he said,

'I wonder if you would tell me about this?'

Pointing to the bowl.

'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful?

I was walking through

The Park a few months ago

And I found this little package On the ground.

The directions said

To place it on the organ,

Keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu All winter.'

Lol! Reminds me of the Bushman who ventured into town to the doctor and asked him if he could be "fixed" because he couldn't afford to feed any more children.
The doc asked him if he had simply considered using condoms. When the Bushman returned a blank stare, the doctor said he could show him how using condoms would allow him to have all the sex he wanted without having to worry about fathering any more kids. The old guy was skeptical but he told the doc to go ahead anyway.

The doctor delivered a technical explanation on blocking the transfer of bodily fluids before pulling out a banana and carefully demonstrating to the Bushman how to open the packet and roll the rubber into position prior to intercourse.

The old dude eyed the doctor seriously and asked him if he was sure this medicine would work. "Yes, yes" the doctor assured him, "you do as I showed you and make sure the prophylactic has no tears or holes and I tell you all will be well." The Bushman eagerly bought a dozen boxes and rushed home to try them out.

Nine months later, the Bushman was back, chasing the doctor around his office with a huge machete, screaming that his wife just gave birth to twins.
"But did you make sure to do as I showed you?" the doctor pleaded.
"Not only dat" bellowed the angry Bushman "Jus' to be safe, instead of usin' only one, I bought more bananas and put dem on de whole f*%&kin' bunch!"