[CobraDan]

This is my favorite fruitcake recipe...since the
holidays are approaching I thought you might be baking.

Fruitcake Recipe (Just in time for Christmas preparations!!)
3 cups flour
1 cup water
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup brown sugar lemon juice nuts
1 gallon whiskey

Sample the whiskey to check for quality.

Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of
the highest quality.

Pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup butter in a large, fluffy bowl.

Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again. Make sure the whiskey is
still OK. Cry another tup. Turn off mixer.

Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried
fruit.
Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the
beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the
whiskey.

Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table.
Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.

Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget
to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window. Check the
whiskey again. Go to bed. Who the hell likes fruitcake anyway?