Oil is heated mostly by rpm's. The faster the engine spins, the higher the temps will be. I don't turn the cooler on until it hits about 220*F or so. In normal street driving, the water and
oil tend to be pretty close to each other.
The thermostat controls the minimum water temp. What happens after that is all up to the cooling system. Assuming all is working well, of course. A by product of power production is heat. The more power you make, the more heat you generate. If you build up the engine to make a lot of power, you'de better build up the cooling system to match.
Your's sound just about right, nothing to worry about.