[Legless]

An Irishman, Englishman, and Scotsman were sitting in a bar in Sydney. The view was fantastic, the beer excellent, and the food exceptional.

"But" said the Scotsman," I still prefer the pubs back home. Why in Glasgow there's a little bar called McTavishe's. Now the landlord there goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy 4 drinks, he'll buy the 5th for you".

"Well, said the Englishman, "At my local, The Red Lion, the barman there will buy you your 3rd drink after you buy the first 2."

"Ahhh, that's nothing", said the Irishman. "Back home in Dublin, there's Ryan's Bar. Now the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a drink, then another ..... all the drinks you like. Then when you've had enough drinks they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid. All this on the house"

The Englishman and Scotsman immediately pour scorn on the Irishman's claims. He swears every word is true. "Well", said the Englishman, "Did this actually happen to you?" "Not myself, personally, no" said the Irishman, "But it did happen to my sister."