[ERA535]

Subject: T shirt sayings

1) The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
2) Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.
3) To all you virgins, thanks for nothing.
4) I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
5) God must love stupid people, he made so many.
6) The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
7) I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
8) Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
9) Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
10) CAT ~ The Other White Meat!
11) I Must Be a Proctologist Because I Work With Buttheads!
12) “That’s It! I’m Calling Nana!” - seen on an 8 year old
13) “Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I grew Up”
14) “Procrastinate Now”
15) “Rehab Is for Quitters”
16) “My Dog Can Lick Anyone”
17) “I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts - Do You Want Fries With That?
18) “Finally 21, and Legally Able to Do Everything I’ve Been Doing Since 15.
19) “West Virginia: One Million People, and 15 last names”
20) “I’M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I’VE GOT A GUN”
21) “A hangover is the wrath of grapes”
22) “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance”
23) “They call it “PMS” because “Mad Cow Disease” was already taken”
24) “POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN??Cops have nothing to go on.”
25) “HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON’T BELIEVE IN GOSH”
26) “A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, but it uses up a thousand times the memory.”
27) “The Meek shall inherit the earth, after we’re through with it.”
28) “Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.”
29) “HAM AND EGGS - A day’s work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig.”
30) “The trouble with life is there’s no background music.”
31) “IF THERE IS NO GOD, WHO POPS UP THE NEXT KLEENEX?”
32) “The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.”
33) “MY WILD OATS HAVE TURNED TO SHREDDED WHEAT”
34) “Computer programmers know how to use their hardware.”
35) “MOP AND GLOW - Floor wax used by Three Mile Island cleanup team.”
36) “NyQuil - The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-hell-is-the-room-spinning-medicine.”
37) “Quoting one is plagiarism; Quoting many is research.”
38) “ My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn’t!”