[bliss]

Last week my wife and I purchased a new computer. We ran
into some difficulties while setting it up, so we decided to
call the customer support phone number we found in the
manual.

I picked up the phone and called the number. A man answered
the phone, and I explained the problem to him.

He began rattling off computer jargon. This confused us even
more.

"Sir," I said politely, "can you explain what I should do as
if I were a small child?"

"Okay," the computer support guy said. "Son, could you
please put your mommy on the phone?"

-------

A country wife came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman. With super-human strength borne of fury, cutting firewood, lifting sacks of feed and bales of hay, she dragged him down the stairs, out the back door, and into the barn. She put his manhood in a vise, secured it tightly, and removed the handle. Next, she picked up an old rusty, dull knife. The banged up cheater was terrified, and hollered, "Stop! Stop! You're not gonna cut it off with that rusty old knife, are you?" The wife put the knife in her husband's hand and said, "Nope. You are. I'm gonna burn down the barn!"