[Hotfingrs]

Heard Over the Airwaves:

As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your
belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly
among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or
spouses.

We are please to have some of the best flight attendants in
the industry... Unfortunately none of them are on this flight!

Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am
going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move
about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we
land... it's a bit cold outside!

Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person caught
smoking in the lavatories will be asked to leave the plane
immediately.

Your seat cushions can be used for floatation, and in the event
of an emergency water landing, please take them with our
compliments.

As we prepare for takeoff, please make sure your tray tables and
seat backs are fully upright in their most uncomfortable position.
There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only
4 ways out of this airplane...