[CobraDan]

A married man goes to confessional and tells the priest, "I had an affair
with a woman... almost."
The priest says, "What do you mean, almost?"
The man says, "Well, we got undressed and
rubbed together, but then I stopped."
The priest replies, "Rubbing together is the
same as putting it in. You're not to go near
that woman again. Now say five
Hail Marys and put $50 in the poor box."
The man leaves confessional, says his prayers, then walks over to the poor
box. He pauses for a moment and starts to leave.
The priest, who was watching him, quickly runs over and says, "I saw that!
You didn't put any money in the poor box!"
The man replied, "Well, Father, I rubbed up
against it, and you said it was the same as putting it in!"