[bliss]

Football player signings in last week's supplemental college draft.
________________________________

Wayfron P. Jackson:
6' 6", 215 lbs. Wide Receiver.
Hottest prospect from Texas in the last ten years.
Loves rap music. Will demand a mini-cassette in his helmet.
Currently holds world record for the most "you knows" during
an interview (62 in one minute).
Wayfron can print his complete name.
Signed with Tennessee.
________________________________

Quinticious Jenkins:
6' 3", 220 lbs. Running Back.
Set state scoring record out of Triton High School, Dunn, N.C.
Also led the state in burglaries, but has only 9 convictions.
He has been clocked at 4.2 seconds in the 40 yard dash with
a 19" TV under each arm.
Signed with Mississippi State.
________________________________

Roosevelt "Dude" Dansell:
6' 1", 195 lbs. Running Back.
From Tyler, Texas. Has processed hair does a creditable imitation
of Billy Dee Williams.
Before he signed his letter of intent, he wanted the school to change
colors to chartreuse and pink.
Listed his church preference as "red brick".
Signed with the Louisiana State University.
_____________________________

Woodrow Lee Washington:
6' 8", 310 lbs. Tackle.
At 19 he's the oldest of 21 children. He has a manslaughter trial
pending, but feels he will be found innocent because "The dude
said somethin' bad 'bout my Momma."
On his entrance form, he listed his I.Q. as 20-20.
Signed with the University of Arkansas
________________________________

Willie "Night Train" Smith:
6'4", 225 lbs. Quarterback.
Thinks the "N" on Nebraska 's helmets stands for "Nowledge,"
but still meets this school's stringent entrance requirements...
Insists on wearing Number 32 jersey since it matches his score
on his SAT's.
Signed with the University of Alabama.
________________________________

Tyrone "Python" Peoples:
6'10", 228 lbs. Wide Receiver.
Has a pending paternity suit and two rape trials, but hopes none
of his other 9 victims will file charges.
Tyrone had already signed letters of intent with six other colleges,
but was also willing to sign with us.
Thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican Telephone Company.
Signed with University of Georgia
________________________________

Abdul Hasheen Abba Ali:
6'10",305 lbs. Guard.
Played high school ball under the name Sylvester Lee Jones until he discovered religion.
Abdul thinks Sherlock Holmes is a housing project in Jacksonville...
Doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear" (nor the meaning of many other words, either).
Signed with the University of Florida.
____________________________________

Welcome all to higher education.
_____

The English language has some wonderfully anthropomorphic collective
nouns for the various groups of animals.

We are all familiar with a Herd of cows, a Flock of chickens, a School of fish and a Gaggle of geese.

However, less widely known is a Pride of lions, a Murder of crows (as well as their cousins the rooks and ravens), an Exaltation of doves and, presumably because they look so wise, a Parliament of owls.

Now consider a group of Baboons. They are the loudest, most dangerous, most obnoxious, most viciously aggressive and least intelligent of all primates.

And what is the proper collective noun for a group of baboons?

Believe it or not ....... a Congress!

I guess that pretty much explains the things that come out of Washington


I looked this up and it's VERY true! Other terms used to describe a group of Baboons are: Troop, Tribe, and Flange.

I think Congress is by far the best description.