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Have you tried jumping the car - positive clamp on the starter relay and negative clamp on the engine? If it spins over OK then it might be something breaking down in the cables - of course if not there is still a cable from the relay down to the starter that could be part of the problem.
When you say you can turn the motor by hand and then the starter will turn it very slowly - do you mean with the plugs out? With all those new parts, if it won't spin over well with plugs out, that would be pretty strange.
Have you hooked up a volt meter and watched it when you try to start it? It would be interesting to know what the voltage does.
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