[bliss]

If train X leaves London at 187 mph east and train Y leaves New York at 160 mph north...at what point will this problem help me in my career?
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Saying the same thing repeatedly but expecting different results is called parenting.
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Wife and I found each other on a dating website, several years after we got married. That was awkward.
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The leading method of suicide in Albania is attempting to kidnap Liam Neeson's daughter.
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The "oops, wrong hole" excuse doesn't work when she catches you with her best friend.
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"Susan, will you marry me?"

"Oh yes Johnny, yes! Yes!"

Still the best prank I ever pulled on my twin brother.
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