My teenage daughter came home in a rage.
"I’ve just done sex education in school today, Dad! You lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my sixteenth birthday, my boyfriend will die!"
I put down my paper: "Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will.”
_____
A sailor walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.
He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his new Apple watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
No," he replies, "I just got this state-of-the-art Apple watch, and I was just testing it."
The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"
The sailor says, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."
The lady says, "What's it telling you now?"
Well, it says you're not wearing any panties."
The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!"
The sailor smirks, taps his watch and says, "Darn thing's an hour fast."
And that, my friends.........is Confidence !