[bliss]

Now that food has replaced sex in my life,

I can't even get into my own pants.
_____

I bought a box of Animal Crackers and it said on it: "Do not eat if seal is broken."

So I opened the box and sure enough............................................ .........
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Japanese scientists have invented a camera with a shutter that operates so incredibly fast, it was recently able to take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut
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Sam had proposed to young Lisa and was being interviewed by his prospective father-in-law.

"Do you think you are earning enough to support a family?" the older man asked the suitor.

"Yes, sir," replied Sam, "I am."

"Well," said Lisa's father, "think carefully now. There are six of us."
_____

Little Johnny was caught swearing by his teacher.

"Johnny," she said, "you shouldn't use that kind of language. Where did you hear such talk, anyway?"

"My daddy said it," he responded.

"Well, that doesn't matter," explained the teacher. "You don't even know what it means."

"I do, too!" Little Johnny retorted. "It means the car won't start."
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