[olddog]

Unfortunately that thought has already crossed my mind, but I have be trying to find a way to have a life after retirement and still share it with my wife. Otherwise I might as well continue to work.

I have worked all my life. I started cutting grass for a neighbor at the age of 10. Started bailing hay at 13. Worked at an apple orchard the summer and fall, I was 16. Finished the year pumping gas. Carried dry wall on the week ends and put in swimming pools when I wasn't carrying drywall, while working 48 hrs a week at the gas station my last two years of high school. I went to work for a chemical company shortly after. Most of those 41 years, I worked 300-400 hr of overtime a year.

So here I am looking at the end of working. It's all I have ever known, but I am tired of it. However it is very sobering and unnerving. There is much more I would like to finish before I retire, but I know there will always be more to do. I loved my job, most of the time and few people were ever that fortunate. It is tough to give it all up. I have attended too many funerals of people who never got to retire, so I do not want to work too long. Yes I am conflicted with many feelings.

I likely will never have grandchildren. I have plenty of money to live on. The only reason I am working is the medical insurance. Unfortunately, my wife's health leaves her unable to do much. I have already worked past the time that she could have enjoyed it. It is too late for her, and I feel quite guilty for that, even though I know it is not my fault. So yes maybe I am grasping at straws.