Many years ago, there was a Pope who was greatly
loved by all of his followers, a man who led with
gentleness, faith and wisdom.
His passing was grieved by the entire world, Catholic
or not.
As the Pope approached the gates of heaven, it was
Saint Peter who greeted him in a firm embrace.
"Welcome your holiness, your dedication and
unselfishness in serving your fellow man during
your life has earned you great stature in heaven.
You may pass through the gates without delay and
are granted free access to all parts of heaven."
St. Peter continued: "You are also granted an
open-door policy and may, at your own discretion,
meet with any heavenly leader including the Father,
without prior appointment. Is there anything which
your holiness desires?"
"Well, yes," the Pope replied. "I have often
pondered some of the mysteries which have puzzled
and confounded theologians through the ages. Are there
perhaps any transcripts which recorded the actual
conversations between God and the prophets of old?
I would love to see what was actually said, without
the dimming of memories over time."
St. Peter immediately ushered the Pope to the heavenly
library and explained how to retrieve the various
documents. The Pope was thrilled and settled down
to review the history of mans' relationship with God.
Two years later, a scream of anguish pierced the
quiet of the library.
Immediately several of the saints and angels came
running.
They found the Pope pointing to a single word on a
parchment, repeating over and over: "There's an 'R'.
There's an 'R'. There's an 'R'... It's CELIBRATE,
not celibate!"
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A cups
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Wonder bra breasts
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Cold breasts
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Lopsided breasts
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Pierced Breasts
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Hanging Tassels Breasts
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> Ol' Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital,
> near death. The family called their preacher to stand with them.
>
> As the preacher stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition
> appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something
> to write on.
>
> The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and
> Ol' Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then
> suddenly died.
>
> The preacher thought it best not to look at the note at that
> time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket.
>
> At the funeral, as he was finishing the message, he realized that
> he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Ol' Fred
> died. He said, "You know, Ol' Fred handed me a note just before
> he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure
> there's a word of inspiration there for us all."
>
> He opened the note, and read, "Please step to your left -- you're
> standing on my oxygen tube!"
>
Training courses are now available for women on the following subjects;
40030. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before
40031. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits
40032. Parties: Going Without New Outfits
40033. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game
40034. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too.
40035. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His
40036. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First.
40037. Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking
40038. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging
40039. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire
40040. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up
40041. Introduction to Parking
40042. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space
40043. Water Retention: Fact or Fat
40044. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter
40045. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption
40046. Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People
40047. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully
40048. PMS: Your Problem . . . Not His
40049. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To
40050. Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have
40051. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice
40052. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together
40053.
Oil and Petrol: Your Car Needs Both
40054. TV Remotes: For Men Only