[Tommy]

As I said years ago, I've never been one to name inanimate objects. But I used to have a friend who named nearly everything from both his cars to his favorite golf club. I thought it was a bit silly. One day he asked the name of my wife's dog. Douglas, I answered. Later in the conversation he asked me what I called my car. Douglas, I answered. What about your wife's car, he asked? Douglas, I said. He was plainly set back. "We call all of our things Douglas. It makes it easier to remember their names," I said. . . . He never again asked me about the names of my things.