.....Sacramento Zoo had acquired a female of a very rare species of gorilla.
Within a few weeks, the gorilla became very cantankerous and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the Zoo veterinarian
determined
the problem.
The gorilla was on heat. To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas of the species available.
While reflecting on their problem, the Zoo management noticed LNP aka Pat Buckley , a South African lad. Pat,
like most South Africans, had little sense, but seemed to be possessed with ample ability to satisfy a female of ANY species.
So, the Zoo administrators thought they might have a solution. Pat was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to
have sex
with the gorilla for $500? Pat showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.
The following day, Pat announced that he would accept their offer, only under three conditions:
"First, mate," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her."
"Second, you must never tell anyone about this."
The Zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they asked what was his third condition.
"Well," said Pat, "You gotta give me another week to come up with the S500
