[bonyhadi]

An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady and they are very much in love. However, no matter what the
husband does sexually, the woman never achieves orgasm. Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure,
they decide to ask the rabbi.

The rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the
following suggestion. "Hire a strapping young man. While the two of you are making love, have the young man
wave a towel over you. That will help the wife fantasize and should bring on an orgasm."

They go home and follow the rabbi's advice. They hire a handsome
young man and he waves a towel over them as they make love. But it doesn't help and she is still
unsatisfied. Perplexed, they go back to the rabbi.

"Okay", says the rabbi, "let's try it reversed. Have the young man
make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them."

Once again, they follow the rabbi's advice. The young man gets into bed with the wife and the husband waves
the towel The young man gets to work with great enthusiasm and the wife soon has an enormous, room-shaking
screaming orgasm.

The husband smiles, looks at the young man and says to him
triumphantly, "You see, THAT'S the way to wave a towel!"







A Helping Hand
-----------------------------------
A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told
him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom.

The little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don't want
to go out there. It's dark."

The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. "You don't have to be
afraid of the dark," she explained. "Jesus is out there. He'll
look after you and protect you."

The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, "Are you
sure he's out there?"

"Yes, I'm sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help
you when you need him," she said.

The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to
the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the
darkness, he called, "Jesus? If you're out there, would you
please hand me the broom?"










Well Trained Worker
----------------------------------
While carpenters were working outside the old house I had just bought, I
busied myself with indoor cleaning. I had just finished washing the
floor when one of the workmen asked to use the bathroom.

With dismay I looked from his muddy boots to my newly scrubbed floors.
"Just a minute," I said, thinking of a quick solution. "I'll put down
newspapers."

"That's all right, lady," he responded. "I'm already trained."











In Search Of...
---------------------------------
I live across the street from a church.
When my wife's puppy escaped from the back yard so we went looking for
it.

She went off in the car and I started to walk around the church calling
the dogs name.

I didn't think anything of it until I noticed some strange looks from
people walking in the area.

The dog's name is Moses.
--Patrick Davlin









In Pennsylvania, two Amish men were arrested for
distributing cocaine. "Police got suspicious when they
noticed a horse pulling a Camaro." (Conan O'Brien)









Several years ago, the Catholic Church required women to
wear a head covering in order to enter the sanctuary. One
Sunday a lady arrived without her head covering. The priest
informs her that she cannot enter without it.

A few moments later, the lady re-appears wearing her blouse
tied to her head. The shocked priest says, "Madam, I cannot
allow you to enter this holy place without your wearing a blouse."

"But Father, I have a divine right," she informs.

"Yes, I see. And your left one isn't bad either."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A guy offers to buy a drink for an attractive young woman
seated at a bar. She gives him the green light, so he goes
to the end of the bar and whispers to the bartender to make
up a Martini for her and to put some Spanish-fly in the
drink. The bartender whispers back to say he's all
out of Spanish-fly and all he has left is Jewish-fly.

Shrugging his shoulders, the guy says, OK, put some of that
in her drink. As she sips on the drink, she gets more and
more cozy, really warming up to the guy. Finally, she
finishes the drink, leans over and whispers in his ear,
....."Let's go shopping".