[bonyhadi]

Actual comments heard from US travel agents)

I had someone ask for an aisle seat so their hair wouldn't get messed up from
being near the window.

A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all
the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then
take the train to Hawaii?"

I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain
the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me
with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in
Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly
explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her
response ... click.

A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong
with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I
tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the
state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a
very thin state."

I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from
Canada?" I said, "No." He said, "But they look so close on the map."

Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled
up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked
him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport,
and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time."

A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her
flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to
explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not
understand. Finally, I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought
that!

A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your
bag so they know whose luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No, why do you ask?"
She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my
luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any connection?" After
putting her on hold for a minute while I looked into it" (I was actually
laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that
the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know which plane to
get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told
my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them."

A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those
computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter
plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever."

A businessman called and had a question about the documents he needed in
order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded
him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never
had to have one of those." I double-checked and sure enough, his stay
required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look,I've been to China four
times and every time they have accepted my American Express."

A woman called to make reservations; "I want to go from Chicago to
Hippopotamus, New York." The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the
agent said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do
you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back
with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and
can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere." The customer retorted,* "Oh don't be
silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map
of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do
you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal!"










I was getting ready for a garage sale one summer day. Since
it was so hot and humid out, I decided to stay inside my
air-conditioned house and mark the special stickers I had
bought for the sale.

I would stick several of them on my blouse, run outside,
stick them on the appropriate items and rush back inside.
I did this until every item was labeled.

Later that day a UPS man came by the house with a delivery.
I noticed that as I was signing for the package, he was
looking at me strangely.

It was only after he left that I noticed there was one sticker
still attached to the front of my blouse. It read "Make me an
offer."