[bonyhadi]

M & M Survival Kit

Put M & M's into a cute container and add
these directions:

To temporarily calm your craving for chocolate,
eat the BROWN one.

At the first sign of hot flashes eat the RED one.

Eat the ORANGE one to minimize depression.

The GREEN one calms your frustrations, when you
want to be left Alone.

If you feel a headache coming on eat the YELLOW
one.

The BLUE one reduces Bloating.

If all symptoms occur at the same time, eat
the WHOLE BAG!!!
=========================
'What your car says about you'

Acura Integra- I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars
*
Acura Legend- I'm too bland for German cars
*
Acura NSX- I am impotent
*
Audi 90- I enjoy putting out engine fires
*
Buick Park Avenue- I am older than 34 of the 50 states
*
Cadillac Eldorado- I am a very good Mary Kay salesman
*
Cadillac Seville- I am a pimp
*
Chevrolet Camaro- I enjoy beating up people
*
Chevrolet Chevette- I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette
*
Chevrolet Corvette- I'm in a mid-life crisis
*
Chevrolet El Camino- I am leading a militia to overthrow the government
*
Chrysler Cordoba- I dig the rich Corinthian leather
*
Datsun 280Z- I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well
*
Dodge Dart- I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower
*
Dodge Daytona- I delivered pizza for four years to get this car
*
Ford Fairmont- (See Dodge Dart)
*
Ford Mustang- I slow down
=====================
A very large, old building was being torn down in Chicago to make room for a new skyscraper. Due to its proximity to other buildings it could not be imploded and
had to be dismantled floor by floor.
While working on the 39th floor, two construction workers found a skeleton in a small closet behind the elevator shaft. They decided that they should call the police.
When the police arrived they directed them to the closet and showed them the skeleton fully clothed and standing upright. They said "this could be Jimmy Hoffa or
somebody really important."
Two days went by and the construction workers couldn't stand it anymore, they had to know who they had found. They called the police and said "We are the two
guys who found the skeleton in the closet and we want to know if it was Jimmy Hoffa or somebody important."
The police said, "It's not Jimmy Hoffa, but it was somebody kind of important."
"Well, who was it?"
"The 1958 Polish National Hide-and-Seek Champion!"
===================