[bonyhadi]

THE SHIPWRECK

A redneck, a sheep, and a dog were survivors of a terrible shipwreck. They found themselves stranded on a desert
island. After being there a while, they got into the habit of going to the beach every evening to watch the sun set. One
particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle; a perfect night
for romance.

As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the redneck. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put
his arm around it. But the dog got jealous, growling fiercely until the redneck took his arm from around the sheep. After
that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.

A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was a beautiful young
woman, the most beautiful woman the redneck had ever seen. She was in a pretty bad way when they rescued her, and
they slowly nursed her back to health. When the young maiden was well enough, they introduced her to their evening
beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening: red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze; perfect for a night of
romance.

Pretty soon, the redneck started to get "those feelings" again. He fought them as long as he could, but he finally gave in
and leaned over to the young woman, cautiously, and whispered in her ear... "Would you mind taking the dog for a
walk?"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
MARRIED FOR MONEY

Cliff was stark naked in front of his open window, doing his morning exercises.

His wife entered the room and shouted, "Cliff, you damn fool, close those curtains! I don't want the neighbors to think
that I married you for your money!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
If a bra is an upper topper titty flopper stopper
And a jock strap is a lower decker pecker checker
And a roll of toilet tissue is a super duper doody pooper scooper.
What do you call a Japanese drummer boy whose father has diarrhea...

A slap happy Jappy with a crap happy pappy!!!
============================
What does a nymphomaniac chicken sound like?...
F*ck-f*ck-f*ck...... f*ck-f*ck-f*ck
==========================
REVENGE

A superintendent of a large, snooty apartment building got the ultimate revenge when he was called for the umpteenth
time to fix a tenant's clogged toilet. Going to her apartment, where the female tenant happened to be giving a fancy
dinner party for other tenants in the building, the super had to endure her telling all the assembled guests that he was
a complete, incompetent idiot. Furthermore, she got them all to go to the bathroom door to watch his clumsiness. He
didn't say anything but merely concentrated on fixing the toilet, while she kept on complaining about the bad service.

She was so busy complaining, that no one noticed when the super reached quickly into his tool bag. A minute later he
held something up triumphantly and told her and the assembled guests, "I've found what was clogging your toilet." All
the guests broke into shocked laughter and the woman turned a bright red. The super was holding up a large yellow
banana with a red condom wrapped around it.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A young woman was preparing for her wedding. She asked her mother to go out and buy a nice long black negligee and
carefully place it in her suitcase so it would not wrinkle.

Well, Mom forgot until the last minute. So she dashed out and could only find a short pink nightie. She bought it and
threw it into the suitcase.

After the wedding the bride and groom enter their hotel room. The groom was a little self-conscious so he asked his new
bride to change in the bathroom and promise not to peek while he got ready for bed.

While she was in the bathroom she opened her suitcase and saw the negligee her mother had thrown in there. She
exclaimed "Oh no, it's short, pink and wrinkled!"

Then her groom cried out, "I told you not to peek!"
==================================
The middle-aged woman sought help from her doctor.

"All my husband does is complain that I never want to have sex with him." she said "And he's right too. I have no desire
at all."

The doctor gave her a prescription and told her to return for a visit in two weeks. After the two weeks were up, she
bounced smiling into his office. "Those pills were great Doc, I'm doin' it twice a night now."

"That's wonderful." said the doctor, "What does you husband say now?"

"How should I know ?" she replied. "I ain't been home yet."
===============================