[Hotfingrs]

Subject: kids conversations
> >
> >Teacher: How old were you on your last birthday?
> >Student: Seven.
> >Teacher: How old will you be on your next birthday?
> >Student: Nine.
> >Teacher: That's impossible.
> >Student: No, it isn't, teacher. I'm eight today.
> >
> >Teacher: George, go to the map and find North America.
> >George: Here it is!
> >Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
> >Class: George!
> >
> >Teacher: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't
> >have ten
> >years ago.
> >Willy: Me!
> >
> >Substitute Teacher: Are you chewing gum?
> >Billy: No, I'm Billy Anderson.
> >
> >Teacher: Alfred, how can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one
> >day?
> >Alfred: I get up early.
> >
> >Teacher: Didn't you promise to behave?
> >Student: Yes, sir.
> >Teacher: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't?
> >Student: Yes, sir, but since I broke my promise, you didn't have to keep
> >yours.
> >
> >Teacher: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
> >Tommy: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.
> >
> >Harold: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?
> >Teacher: Of course not.
> >Harold: Good, because I didn't do my homework.
> >
> >Teacher: Why are you late?
> >Webster: Because of the sign.
> >Teacher: What sign?
> >Webster: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow." That's what I did.
> >
> >Teacher: I hope I didn't see you looking at Don's paper.
> >Don: I hope you didn't either.
> >
> >Gary: I don't think I deserve a zero on this test.
> >Teacher: I agree, but it's the lowest mark I can give you.
> >
> >Mother: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
> >Junior: Because of absence.
> >Mother: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?
> >Junior: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.
> >
> >Sylvia: Dad, can you write in the dark?
> >Father: I think so. What do you want me to write?
> >Sylvia: Your name on this report card.
> >
> >Teacher: Well, at least there's one thing I can say about your son.
> >Father: What's that?
> >Teacher: With grades like these, he couldn't be cheating.
> >
> >Teacher: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.
> >Sammy: You can't fool me, teacher. Snakes don't have feet.
> >
> >Hygiene Teacher: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
> >Jose: Don't bite any.
> >
> >Teacher: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I."
> >Ellen: I is...
> >Teacher: No, Ellen. Always say "I am."
> >Ellen: All right. "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
> >
> >Teacher: Max, use "defeat," "defense" and "detail" in a sentence.
> >Max: The rabbit cut across the field, and defeat went over defense
> >before detail.
> >
> >Teacher: Toby, what are you doing under your desk?
> >Toby: Didn't you tell us to read Dr. Jekyll and Hyde (hide)?
> >
> >The principal was annoyed by the noise during the assembly program.
> >"There seem to be several idiots in the auditorium this morning," he
> >snapped. "Wouldn't it be better to hear one at a time?" A voice from the
> >back of the auditorium shouted, "Okay, you start."
> >
> >Mother: Why on earth did you swallow the money I gave you?
> >Junior: You said it was my lunch money.
> >
> >Teacher: If you received $10 from 10 people, what would you get?
> >Sasha: A new bike.
> >
> >Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another,
> >how many
> >dollars would you have?
> >Vincent: One dollar.
> >Teacher (sadly): You don't know your arithmetic.
> >Vincent (sadly): You don't know my father.
> >
> >Teacher: If I had 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what would
> >I have?
> >Class Comedian: Big hands!
> >
> >Teacher: Why are you late?
> >Amos: I lost my quarter.
> >Teacher: And why are you late, Oliver?
> >Oliver: I was standing on it.
> >
> >"Isn't the principal a dummy!" said a boy to a girl
> >"Say, do you know who I am?" asked the girl.
> >"No."
> >"I'm the principal's daughter."
> >"And do you know who I am?" asked the boy.
> >"No," she replied.
> >"Thank goodness!"
> >