[bonyhadi]

A young couple left the church and arrived at the hotel where they were spending the first night of their honeymoon. They opened the
champagne and began undressing.

When the bridegroom removed his socks, his new wife asked,"Ewww
- what's wrong with your feet? Your toes look all mangled and weird. Why are your feet so gross?"

"I had tolio as a child," he answered.
"You mean polio?" she asked. "No, tolio. The disease only affected my toes."

The bride was satisfied with this explanation, and they continued
undressing. When the groom took off his pants, his bride once again wrinkled up her nose. "What's wrong with your knees?"
she asked. "They're all lumpy and deformed!"

"As a child, I also had kneasles," he explained.
"You mean measles?" she asked.
"No, kneasles. It was a strange illness that only affected my knees."

The new bride had to be satisfied with this answer. As the undressing continued, her husband at last removed his underwear.

"Don't tell me," she said. "Let me guess... Smallcox?"
=========================
SENIOR MOMENT
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two
elderly gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant, and it was really great. I would recommend it
very highly."
The other man said, "What's the name of the restaurant?"
The first man knits his brow in obvious concentration, and finally said to his companion, "Aahh, What is the name of that red flower you
give to someone you love? His friends replies, "A Carnation??" "No. No. The other one" the man says. His friend offers another
suggestion, "The Poppy?"
"Nahhhh, growls the man. You know the one that is red and has thorns." His friend said, "Do you mean a rose?"
"Yes, Yes that's it. Thank you!" the first man says.
He then turns toward the kitchen and yells, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?''
================================================== =====
An old man and old woman had been married for about 52 years
when one day the old woman died.
The entire family showed up to the funeral.

Every day after the funeral the old man would show up at the grave
with his dog and spend a few minutes out there.
About two months later a priest saw the old man out there with his dog and decided to go talk to the old man.

"Hello there. You know, we see you come out here every day
to visit your wife's grave and we just think that so sweet.
We were all wondering if the dog is something that was special
to your wife since you always bring it out here with you."

"No, actually I bring the dog out here to pee on the grave.
I'd do it myself, but I'd get arrested for indecent exposure!"
================================================
They finally released the ingredients in Viagra!
3% Vitamin E
2% Aspirin
2% Ibuprofen
1% Vitamin C
5% Spray Starch
87% Fix-A-Flat
=====================
A female reporter was conducting an interview with a farmer
about Mad Cow Disease.

"Mr. Brown, do you have any idea what might be the cause of the disease?"

"Sure. Do you know the bulls only screw the cows once a year?"

"Umm, sir, that is a new piece of information, but what's the relationship between this and Mad Cow?"

"And did you know we milk the cows twice a day?"

"Mr. Brown, that's interesting, but, what's the point?"

"Lady, the point is this: if I'm playing with your tits twice a day, but only screwing you once a year, wouldn't you go mad, too?"
==================================
How do you know if a woman used a vibrator
while she was pregnant?
The kid stutters.
======================