[bonyhadi]

A Man Shopping

A man was shopping in the men's department at
Bloomingdale's when he noticed an absolutely beautiful
woman behind the sales counter.

He went up to her and said, "Good morning, madam."

She smiled pleasantly and asked, "And what can I help
you with today Sir ?"

"What can you help me with? Well lets see I'd like to wrap
my arms around you and squeeze you tight. Then run my
hand up and down your bottom and squeeze that. Then run
my hands along your inner thighs, up underneath your dress.
When I get to your sweet womanhood, I'd like to rub that while
simultaneously unbuttoning your blouse with my teeth. And
then I'd like to suck on your beautiful tits and bite your nipples
lightly... But what I really came in for is to buy is a new tie."
=========================================
Q. What do you call a Mexican prostitute with no legs?
A. **** sway low !

*^*^*^*

Q. What do you call a black prostitute with braces on?
A: A Black and Decker pecker wrecker!
============================
A beautiful young lady was a traveling sales person and her car
broke down way out in the country. She checked the car as best
she could but couldn't find what was wrong. It was starting to get
dark so she decided she had better find shelter for the night.

She found a farm house a short distance up the road and knocked
on the door. The farmer answered the door and asked Her what she
needed. She told the farmer that her car was broken down and she
needed a place to stay for the night.

The Farmer told her he only had two bedrooms, he and his wife used one and their 18 year old son used the other. The Farmer thought
about it a minute and said my son went to town and won't be home until late and he has a big bed anyhow if you want you can sleep in his
bed tonight.

She thought to her self, Wow 18 year old dick tonight, and said to the farmer that would be fine.

After a nice supper they all went to bed. She took all of her clothes off and lay spread eagle on the bed waiting for the boy. About three
in the morning the boy comes in, gets undressed and goes to bed. She waited a while, sure that he would be making advances, but nothing
happened. After a little while she thought, Well maybe he's shy, so she said could you switch sides of the bed with me, thinking he may
get her on the way over.

He got up and walked around and got into the bed on the other side.

She lay there a little longer and decided to try it again.

Again, he got up and walked around and got into the bed on the other side.

She figured there is only one way to make this hick understand, so she rolled over right on top of him and said "OK now do you know what
I want?"

He said, "Yeahâ€| you want the whole damn bed."
===================================

Miss Jones, we can't employ you as a model", the editor
from the men's magazine explained. "It's too obvious that
your blonde hair isn't natural, since the hair between your
legs is black".

The model picked up a paperweight and slammed it down
on the editor's fingers.

"What the hell did you do that for!", he exploded.

She smiled sweetly and said "Look at your fingers. They're
turning black, right? And they've only been banged once."
==============================================

A guy had a major argument with his girlfriend.
He was in the wrong, but not enough to back down without an argument.
So after storming away, and cooling off, the guy had a think.
He was clearly in the wrong and felt pretty guilty, with all the trauma it had caused.
So to make it up to his girlfriend, he said he'd buy her a gift.
"Any thing at all, my love", the guy said, overcome with remorse.
"Oh, I don't know", she replied, "You really shouldn't do this you know.
But, if you are, just get me something really expensive, that I don't need."

The following day he booked her in for chemotherapy.
=============================