[RallySnake]

The Old Roads, Sept. 27 2003

I am pleased to report that the Cobra Team prevailed in Saturday’s 8 hour Monte Carlo Rally. Many have scoffed that the undersized and overpowered machine could never compete on the arduous rally course with the teams of Subaru, Mitsubishi and Porsche. Yet, at the end of the day, it was the Cobra boys in first place overall.

We were warned that the Expert Class would be very challenging. We expected the Rallymaster, Ron Green, to throw every trick in the book at us. And man, did he ever and even made up some new ones! Monte Carlo Rallies start with the planning stage. Over lunch at the “Cookery” restaurant in Lebec, we studied the 10 maps and 21 pages of instructions. We had 3 hours to work out 17 stages. We figured out where the checkpoints were, how to approach them and the order of events. The time evaporated as we created our navigation plan. Most of the legs could be worked out in advance, but some remained a mystery until clues are given on the course. These are the most difficult in the beast. While others sit in air conditioned, well-padded, comfort boxes, we’re being buffeted by wind, exhaust reverberation and flapping maps.

The day was clear and beautiful. It was in the low nineties and my white knit shirt and khaki pants proved to be a good combination. The key is “lots” of sunscreen and then “more” sunscreen. Like power, too much is about right! Ron Dunlop, team co-driver and navigator wore light colors, too and we both brought jackets, just in case. Of course, we were both wearing our "COBRA" caps!

There’s a little town, Lake of the Woods, near Frazier Mountain Park. Quaint little vacation cabins are scattered all around the hillside community. The one-lane roads are a twisty little maze through the trees and homes. Checkpoint one was at the top of a steep hill. The altitude (7,000 feet), heat and slow climb had pushed the temperature gauge way up and we crossed the checkpoint hose two one-hundredths late with the engine gasping and clutch smoking. This was going to be a tough rally!

I guess you can only have one “favorite”, right? Many years ago, I decided that Lockwood Valley Road was my favorite. It combines every possible type of curve (including vertical and water fords), with long straights (where top end can be explored), with pine forests and mountains. What more could you want? The Rallymaster had us looking for a checkpoint just past the point where the Cuyama River crosses “a” road. It goes over the road on Lockwood Valley! We found the river, but no checkpoint. It was a trick. The checkpoint was further up where it actually crosses under Highway 33.

If you’ve never driven Highway 33 down to Ojai, you’ve missed something. Thanks to the U.S. Air Force, I’ve driven GREAT roads, all around the world, but very few give you the spectacular mountain views you get on 33. I wish I could bring all my new friends from the Texas Cobra Club, and the rest of you, too, for a day of driving in the California mountains. It’ll knock your socks off! The twists and turns across the top of the range give you views of the road twisting and turning down through the valley below. We made good speed but kept in mind the possibility of rocks in the road (a Rallymaster once destroyed the front of his car here) and gravel that can make wide tires act like furniture dollies.

We entered Ojai with some trepidation. I’ve lost rallies here before due to the unusual layout of the roads. It’s easy to get confused. We used some of the time we had saved coming down the mountain to stop for cold drinks. Then, Ron guided us unerringly along the golf course and to the checkpoint on the very pretty Creek Road. Oak trees line the road and canopy it from the sun. I hit the checkpoint hose perfectly (I thought) but received a 1 point penalty, late. We left Ojai on the West-bound 150 which climbs a steep hill out of town in a series of tight switchbacks that rival anything you can find in the Alps (even the South of France). We followed a couple of rally cars up the hill to a brief straight where 400 HP launched us past them in seconds. Blasting up the steep hill felt so GOOD, like being launched off an aircraft carrier, I yelled “AH HAAA”, then backed off a little for the next tight curve. There, we met a Highway Patrol officer coming toward us. Ron yelled, “AH HAAA”. I wanted to punch him, but laughed instead.

The last time I had driven 150 from Ojai to Santa Paula, I was leading a group of Cobras after the meeting at the Sandwich Factory in Ventura. The road brought back great memories of the snarling snakes. In Santa Paula, we had to find the elusive South Mountain Road and get to Bardsdale. Bardsdale is an unusual community and a Rallymaster favorite. It’s an Orange grove with a grid work of roads, ¼ mile apart, running through it. Checkpoints 4, 5, 6, and 7 had to be found and crossed. The clues we had helped us find them all, in the proper order, at the right time. Then, we had to work our way out of the maze without fouling any of the checkpoints. We took South Mountain back to Santa Paula and 126 up to Fillmore to find checkpoint eight.

Checkpoint 8 was a minimum speed checkpoint. This is a trap that usually has experienced rallyists shaking in their boots. It’s SO easy to ruin a good score because you cannot travel less than the preset speed, in this case 40 mph. If you do, it’s a 100 point penalty. We had a TSD rally clock and used it to run an exact average speed of 45 mph for the mile leading to the checkpoint. This worked perfectly and we got another zero. We were living up to my license plate, “ZEROS”.

Industrial parks are another Rallymaster favorite. There’s little weekend traffic and the grid work of roads can make finding checkpoints very difficult. Fortunately, the search pattern we had decided on, took us straight to checkpoint 9 in the new Valencia Commerce Center. We could see the towering rides of Magic Mountain in the background as we collected another zero.

The Rallymaster’s next trick was to suck us into checkpoint 10 backwards. We had been on the road for more than 4 hours and the dinner break was coming up. All we had to do was cruise up the The Old Road through the checkpoint and the gas stations and restaurants in Castaic. WRONG! Careful reading of the instructions tells you that you must enter the checkpoint FROM the North. Ron caught this just in time and we found a way to circle the checkpoint through a residential area and enter from the correct direction.

I have to admit, getting out of the car was not easy. The old legs were very stiff after the hours in the tight seat. After stretching at the gas station and while downing a burger at Jack-in-the-Box, I felt much better. The car had run perfectly. I didn’t even bother to clean the bugs off the Lexan windshield before hitting the road again.

Ron drove up Lake Hughes road with its’ spectacular rock formations and demanding curves while I got a chance to enjoy the scenery. Ron has a smooth driving style learned at the controls of the many aircraft he has mastered. Smooth actions are critical in a car as on-edge as the Cobra and he’s a perfect co-driver. We arrived at the restart location and met the other teams assembled under tall pine trees. There were many Subaru WRXs, most of them that sharp deep royal blue color, but also a black one and silver one. There were some Mitsus of various shades and a lone silver Porsche 911. A bright red Mini Cooper looked great with white rally stripes across the hood. There was an assortment of Mazda’s, Nissans and Hondas too, but no other open cars. The usual Miata and S2000 teams had selected more comfortable cars for this event. The BWW Team did not show up at all, maybe due to the Holiday. After taking some compass bearings as clues to the location of the upcoming checkpoints, we were off again.

(End Part One, see Part Two)