[Steve Cassani]

We lived on a cattle ranch for several years. The owner took considerable pride in his carefully designed lineage of registered Angus (black cows. You'll need this fact in a few moments). Propective bull purchasers would be given a ride through the herd so they could size-up the animals for themselves.

One afternoon a purchaser arrived and none of the ranch vehicles were available. The rancher spotted my black Miata and, knowing I leave the keys in it, invited the purchaser to tour the herd.

They were well into the tour when an especially well-built bull grabbed the purchaser's eye and he asked to stop while he got out and walked around the animal. Neither he nor the landowner knew that another bull had spotted the Miata and was walking slowly, and lovingly, behind it as they traveled through the herd.

The rancher stopped and both men got out to better view the bull. The rancher heard a characteristic mewling sound - characteristic of a desire for romance - and turned around to see the love-struck bull placing his chin and neck over the trunk of the Miata. The car gave a slight lurch as the 2,200 pound bull positioned himself for a moment of ecstasy. The rancher gave a loud bellow and ran at the bull, waving his warms, only to realize from the bull's glare that he was considered a competitor for the Miata's sexy curves.

The bull backed off long enough for the rancher to jump in the Miata and drive out of the pasture, leaving the prospective client alone in stunned disbelief. The explanation offerred later at the dining room table was met with silence. He did buy the bull he'd selected from the herd. Later in the evening the Miata was parked where it could be seen from the pasture. I heard a long, plaintive bellow. Broken heart, I'd guess.