Not Ranked
You know you're getting old when...
...all of your favorite movies are re-released in color.
...you begin every other sentence with, "Nowadays..."
...you come to the conclusion that your worst enemy is gravity.
...you frequently find yourself telling people how much a loaf of bread used to cost.
...have way too much room in the house, and not nearly enough in the medicine cabinet.
...people call you at 9pm, they ask, "Did I wake you?"
...the little gray-haired lady that you help across the street is your wife.
...the pharmacist becomes your new best friend.
...you are cautioned to slow down by your doctor instead of the police.
...you don't care where your wife goes, just so you don't have to go along.
...you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before.
...you quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
...you sink your teeth into a nice juicy steak ...and they stay there.
...your best friend is dating someone half their age, and isn't breaking any laws.
...your little black book only contains names ending in M.D.
...your new easy chair has more options than your car.
...you and your teeth don't sleep together.
...you look for your glasses for a half an hour, and then find that they were on your head all the time.
...getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
...the twinkle in your eye turns out to be the reflection of the sun on your bifocals.
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