[Fred Douglass]

Just one dose of the "Sopranos" Sunday night offering was enough to convince me that the Mafia's always been on the right track!

It's not that I mind REAL wenches who're good with wrenches. I even like it when they can wrench it withOUT a wrench..........oh never mind. But any "wench" I grace with my Walrussian Presence must be certifiably, domonstably and 'way OBVIOUSLY a female!!!!!

Re the trip to Melanesian Paradise, I do in fact have a perfectly horrifying shot which WILL---repeat WILL------become one of my Christmas card offerings next wintah!!!