Not Ranked
NO SEX TONIGHT
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
so much. And I have never figured out why men think with their head
and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into
bed.
The passion starts to heat up, when she eventually said "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT??!! What was
that?!" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads
to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a
woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She
responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for
whom I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to
sleep...
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big,
big department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which
one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes
to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each
outfit.
We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she
was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she
doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop
when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is
all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?! I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man,
enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just
when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why
can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
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