[cobra de capell]

Editor's Note: This is a supposedly true story from
Dartmouth.

A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She
glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels
pleadingly.

"I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to
him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes.
"I mean ..." she whispers, "... I would do ... ANYTHING."

He returns her gaze. "Anything?"

"Anything."

His voice softens. " *Anything* ?"

"Anything."

His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you ... *study* ?"”
_____

What not to say to a police officer:

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are You Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
12. When the Officer says "Gee Son.... Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"