[cobra de capell]

Impressed with the fabrication of the story regarding John McCain, the National Enquirer today announced they will seek a buyout of the New York Times.

Said an anonymous spokesperson, "We are truly amazed that a major newspaper, supposedly in the mainstream and the purveyor of "All The News That's Fit To Print", would undertake a story of this magnitude with no basis in fact. We consider it on a par with our own "Tabloid" style that has enabled us to rocket to the top of the supermarket check-out rack".

"We make our living based on readers who are too stupid to realize our stories just aren't true, and Mr. Keller's statement yesterday that his readers were too dense to understand the "underlying" story falls perfectly in line with our thinking. Their use of "anonymous sources" was brilliant, as they could now print whatever they wanted under the guise of "We think we can prove it but won't even try, we'll just blame the reader".

The new "New York Enquiring Times" will be the standard bearer for years to come. We look forward to many years of fabrication, innuendo, flat out lies and a manipulation of the public. Of course, the Times has tried this tactic for many years, but we feel that under our tutorage, they can reach an entirely new level in meaningless, false stories."

Developing...........