[meat]

You're being too hard on yourself. Senior citizens have given us many great inventions:

- cutting-edge hip replacement surgery
- sansabelt pants
- wide white belts (worn with sansabelt pants)
- 24 hour yogurt shops
- green jello with ... something ... in it
- Matlock
- perfect condition 70s cars that are never driven
- hearing aids that can whistle a happy tune
- ridiculously inbred tiny dogs
- cats that are made of nothing but fur and hairballs
- ribbon candy that can sit in a bowl for decades, outlasting twinkies
- the phrase 'back in my day' which can be applied to any situation
- geritol
- maalox
- selective hearing
- golf carts as offensive weaponry

...and many more. Thank you, to the greatest generation!

Your pal,
Meat.