Subject: Friday Laugher - The new financial world
In our long journey toward's insolvency, perhaps a little humor may help. Look on the ledge of the 40th floor of the BP building at 2:00pm. I should make a grand splat.-jf...
In an effort to continue increasing knowledge and a good vocabulary,
below are the current definitions for Stock Market Terms.
The current definitions of Stock Market Terms:
CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake
himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the
wife gets no jewelry
VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market
keeps crashing.
BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A person whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @
$240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- This past week's investor who's now locked up in a
nuthouse.
PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.
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