[Wayne Maybury]

How about this email that I just received?
I figure Fred will like the last paragraph.
Wayne



The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA)



WASHINGTON, DC - Congress is considering sweeping legislation which

will provide new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No

Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislative goal by

advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or

ambition.



"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and

drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in

society,"

said California Senator Barbara Boxer. "We can no longer stand by and

allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this

legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to

a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what

they are doing."



In a Capitol Hill press conference, House Majority Nancy Pelosi and

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid pointed to the success of the

U.S.Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing

opportunity without regard to performance.



Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack any job skills,

making this agency the single largest U.S. employer of Persons of

Inability.



Private-sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination

against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry

(68%), and home improvement "warehouse" stores (65%). At the state

government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has a great

record of hiring Persons of Inability (63%).



Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million "middle

man" positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but

little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose

and performance.



Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given so

as to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable

employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to

corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability

into middle-management positions, and gives a tax credit to small and

medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every

two talented hires.



Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more

difficult to discriminate against the Non-abled......banning, for

example, discriminatory interview questions such as "Do you have any

skills or experience which relate to this job?"



"As a Non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who

have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her

position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, Michigan, due to

her lack of any discernible job skills. "This new law should really help

people like me." With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of

other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the

tunnel..



Said Senator Ted Kennedy: "As a Senator With No Abilities, I believe

the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to

every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide

each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with

some sort of space to take up in this great nation."