I have used Permatex black which seems to be ok, on my aluminium dry sump pan.
I have used Loctite Master Gasket this can go a bit hard. My
oil pan has no end rubbers so I made some alloy strips to fit in this reduces the amount of silicone or whatever in those areas. Sounds like you have a problem with one or more surfaces and if the
oil pan is a problem try glueing the gasket to that first.
I have also found using slippery uncured gasket compounds on each side of the gasket material can be a recipe for disaster and promote gasket squish!
I would ask a Motorcycle shop as my friend who has the Honda dealership uses special gasket compounds, as they can have issues with farm, race and other old motorcycle
oil leaks so with alloy castings being old and thin the need for a real good product. We have just done my 8.8" diff up and we will be using the sealer on that and my Jerico tail housing.
I would be careful with oil pans though because if you use something to much like a glue you will have trouble removing it and the compound needs to be not to brittle otherwise if it comes off possibly cause problems. You might want to do one side of the gasket to oil pan then bolt on to the engine being careful not to have any compound on the engine side, let it dry and then remove and do the other side.........!