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Great thread...
I had a horrid issue with TP in Montana recently. Just one of a string of hotel misfortunes there over the years, I guess.
This episode was in the hotel the company puts us up in. They were short on rooms, again, and the elevator hasn't worked for a couple of weeks. So I took a room right at the top of the first flight of stairs, as to not carry my heavy grips up three flights.
Turns out it was a smoking room and it reeked. I didn't think they had them anymore.
Never-the-less I thought I could bear it for one night instead of carrying all my $hit back down and finding out there was nothing else anyway.
The stinger was the hot water. Lots of times there is none, or not much more than slightly lukewarm. A couple of times, they shut the water off in the middle of my shower, so it pays to run some water in the sink first in case it's needed to get the soap off. That is if the plug in the scungy sink will even hold water.
This time was different. One faucet had hot water ...and the other side had really hot scalding water. When it finally came through. From experience, it would make a good Candid Camera set-up watching somebody turning and turning the knobs looking for the right combo. Unbelievable.
At first I thought somebody screwed up just the sink, but the same thing in the shower. I was already pretty wet by the time it started to really scald me, but not soapy yet, thank God. Still, the only solution was to wet the washcloth by changing hands frequently under the faucet and wash with some soap when it kinda cooled. Then carefully rinse the cloth and wipe the soap off me. Real showering was out of the question. My fingers were sore from the heat, no appendage would have been safe..
Then the kicker was when I went downstairs and ate in the greasy spoon. Sure enough I desperately had to sit on the throne right after. Unfortunately, I left the stool unflushed from the time before. I was thinking I could flush just once for several little frequent prostrate whiz trips since I don't trust these stools to flush without some kind of major problem. (I could tell you stories.) So, anyway, I flushed it right before I sat down so as to have clean water in case it splashed.
Sat right down and started the movement process before I realised my azz was getting severely steamed. Sure enough, the toilet, which I just flushed, was pure scalding hot too. The steam was so bad the toilet paper melted on my fingers before I could use it. My li'l cinnamon ring was sweaty and never, ever, felt like it was done being wiped. It was smeary, steamy hell, actually. Ya gotta be there... ...I swear it was like wiping with mashed potatoes.
Normally, I would have took another shower after an experience like that. But...
Wes
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