ACC hires David Shelton as consultant
 

(Reuters) February 5, 2005

ATLANTA, GA-- The Atlanta Club Cobra, currently a loosely organized bunch of testerone crazed middle aged hooligans, has announced that it has hired advisor David Shelton from Texas to organize the club. David's past experience in election processes and leveraged financial transactions will take the club into the next decade. Says one ACC member, "David is the perfect guy for this role, we have big goals of growing the club. We foresee opportunities given David's past to infiltrate and acquire other neighboring regional clubs. We feel the Texas market may be a good place to grow into and David is the man. Plus we need to spread some of our humor to other parts of the country." Another member also expressed agreement, "As we look to grow, we need to cater to a more diverse audience and we feel attracting a female membership base is a great way to grow. Plus having some babes around at events never hurts the eyes. David's good looks should cater and attract that demographic as well."

Industry analysts however are taking a wait and see approach to this announcement given recent controversy when David was nominated for the Texas Cobra Club elections where he was winning in a landslide via a national poll. The election was terminated early as some parties felt that non-documented Texas residents and outsiders were allowed to vote. The ACLU and the Democratic Party however are threatening to sue the TCC, as they feel anyone with a pulse should be able to vote, and vote often. Actually, they even encourage dead people to vote. One analyst is quoted also as saying, "Given ACC's free membership, we are not sure they can grow revenue just on volume alone. However, I am still analyzing the numbers and think they may have discovered some new mathematics."

And David supports alternative lifestyles. What a great choice! Congrats, David!

Great post! I love insane levity.

If you take him, you have to keep him. No returns.

Damn - this will triple our dues. However, being a Texan, it will just be charged to the national debt. What does being organized buy us - a chance to avenge an old family feud for him by starting a war with Corvette, Viper, and Ricer clubs, increasing dues tenfold, demanding the patriotic donation of a motor, then declaring victory while he heads back to Texas? Do we have to elect a dictator that he picks? Can I still color and drive outside the lines? I want our old anarchy back!

And TC - if it doesn't run it's yard art, not a roadster

Hmmm. I did a criminal history search on a David Shelton and found several arrests for Prostitution in the mid-town area of Atlanta. Are we sure we want this guy organizing our club? :JEKYLHYDE

Trumped up charges,all lies by the man.

Perfect thread for a Friday in ACC :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:

J.O. you have three - I repeat three - pieces of "Roadster Yard Art" by my last count:3DSMILE:

Randy

Anybody in ACC up for a nippy early morning blast up the road?

Am I allowed to post in this thread? I hope my congratulations to David won't cause ACC to delete this thread:D

Well done, TC..................

Nope :p

That's a wonderful idea.. instead of taking the club to the women, bring the women to the club... (not our women, but random women)... ...of course I am not sure how a minister is going to help with that.. see David's webpage... www.davidshelton.org but maybe TC's yard art and David's performance art will join together in some way to attract new members... ...and the mime part might be entertaining %/

...but as far as the ACC dues go, if we are expanding, I think doubling the dues is only fair. I will send my check to our home office right away. (Randy, your account has some available credit if you want to send an IOU)

:LOL:

Hey TC, your signature line lists;
2 dr roadster,
v-8
and a 4 speed.

That is a nice list of parts, need any help making them into a car?

Chill did you get puddles back?

Up for a morning drive - we could go drink Bob's coffee and eat his doughnuts.

Randy

He is a minister? have some respect. He would be a compassionate
inclusive leader. Thank your lucky stars.

Randy,
Yep car's back and I'm up for a ride... but we have the teen driving school thing this weekend, so my morning drive may be to Hampton, GA in the AM... very early AM....

When is our first meeting? I will not be giving a sermon, but will pass the offering plate. Then it will be time to save a few souls at Hooters. (Is "Baptism" another word for for the phrase "Wet Tshirt Contest"?) :3DSMILE:

It is around here. We are happy to see your valued contributions already. As a matter of fact the board is meeting to discuss a possible raise. Hope you haven't overspent your current allowance! ;)

chill, I have two V-8s, two 4 speeds, and two roadsters to put together plus the two choices of how they fit together. 2 to the 4th power equals 16 combinations. I need help. Happy to hand it over to you. Where do I deliver this mess to?

Then again, some photographer tells me it may have more value as "yard art" I just buy my stuff to part it out after it oxidizes! Amazing the crap you can buy for 10 dollars, part it out and it fetches 20.

chill, Take some pics of these teens you are teaching. Send the pics to me, I will use judgement and perhaps create a new website if they are good!

Clay, How dare you taking credit for having the other thread shut down:eek:

I was hoping that it was me:D

per TC.. hmmm%/ TC will use judgement.. sorry, I better hang onto the pics. as for the parts, Randy said he would warehouse them for me until I can get around to assembly. Ive come up with a few interesting combinations.. Hemi-Cubra?

Dues??? How about based on cubes like taxes on a house the bigger the square footage etc.....;LOL;