My mother passed away

[NVJoker]

April 22nd. On the day that she passed away I was able to tell her I loved her and she told me the same back. 30 minutes later she became non responsive after they upped her morphine. The cancer was very aggressive and had made it into her bone morrow in her spine. The regular doses of morphine were not working. She was also battling a colitis infection.

I believe she was hanging on until I came to Phoenix. She did not tell me until I got here she hadn't eaten in at least 5 days and was at the point of where she could not even keep sips of water down. I cannot express how upsetting it is to hear and see your mother in pain to where she is crying.

She made it clear long ago that she was never to be put on a ventilator. The doctors wanted to do this to try to beat the infection. If she beat the infection then she got to look forward of months of agonizing pain while the cancer consumed her spine and not her vital organs. I made the decision to honor her wishes and to have them give her more morphine and quit poking her and pumping her full of medicine just to keep her blood pressure up.

She was a Christian and I left it to her God to deliver her. I feel fortunate enough to have been able to tell her how proud of her I was of her as my mother and to say goodbye while she was still responsive. She was a beautiful woman inside and out and she sacrificed so much for me and my sister. The day before her passing she told me in the hospital she was retiring on July 1st and said she would never see it and she started crying.

In one our heart to heart talks prior to this we talked about her wishes being honored. She said she didn't have much but what she did have she worked hard for and earned. She wanted her life to be celebrated and what she left behind be applied as a gift. She did not want her gift to be used to pay bills. She wanted to be remembered.

Some of you might know that the Spec Racer is the gift that my father left for me after his passing. It was his final gift to me you might say. In finishing the Spec Racer I will also have some of my mother's gift as well. Every time I drive it, I will remember my father and mother with a smile.

Her grandson that is in Afghanistan (2nd tour) does not know it yet but he will have a gift from grandma applied towards his first home purchase.

There is more but no need to ramble on. She will be remembered and celebrated many times over from her family.