Joke of the Day...

[bonyhadi]

A Sure Cure.....

A woman went to the doctors office, where she
was seen by one of the new doctors, but after
about 4 minutes in the examination room, she
burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall.

An older doctor stopped her and asked what the
problem was, and she told him her story. After
listening, he had her sit down and told her to
go relax in another room.

The older doctor marched down hallway to the
back where the first doctor was and demanded,
"What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63
years old, she has four grown children and
seven grandchildren, and you told her she was
pregnant?"

The new doctor continued to write on his
clipboard and without looking up said, "Does
she still have the hiccups?"






----- Getting away with speeding

A guy gets pulled over for speeding 88 MPH
in a 45 zone. The cop asks for his drivers
license and the guy says, "I'm sorry officer,
but my license was suspended after my 5th DUI."

The cop asks for his registration and the guy
says, "It's in the glove compartment, but
it's not in my name because I stole this car
in a car jacking and I killed the woman that
owns the car and stuffed her in the trunk and
the gun I used is in the glove compartment.
At this point the cop tells the guy to keep
his hands in sight and he radios for back-up.

When a supervisor shows up, the cop tells him
the story and he walks up to the guy in the
car. The supervisor asks to see the guy's
drivers license and the guy hands it over and
it is valid with the guys real name and
information.

The supervisor asks for the registration and
the guy says, "It's in the Glove compartment."
The supervisor tells the guy to keep his hands
in sight and walks around to the passenger
side and opens the glove compartment. There is
the registration in the guys name and everything
seems in order.

Next the supervisor asks the guy to get out and
open the trunk. The guy opens the trunk and the
only thing there is a spare tire.

At this point the supervisor tells the guy what
the other cop had told him. The guy says "I'll
bet that lying S.O.B. told you I was speeding
too!"









Awful Limerick


There once was a young man named Jack,
Who loved jumping into the sack.
For there was his wife,
The love of his life,
Aroused, with legs spread, on her back.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She...


A stuttering girl went on a date with this guy one night, and after a
movie and something to eat, he took her to a remote spot for some
heing and sheing.

He started to feel his way around, and as soon as she felt him
doing that, she started to tell him to stop, she wasn't that kind
of a girl, but before she could get the words out...

She was.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quickie


Q: What is an Australian kiss?
A: It is the same as a French kiss but only down under.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Female Comebacks!


Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.





A blonde, tired of being made fun of and
determined to end it all,
grabs a rope and heads out to the park, where
there are lots of trees.

A couple of hours later a man is walking by and
sees the blonde,
hanging from a tree by the waist.

"Can I help you with something, miss?" asks the
man.

"No thanks. I've just had it with the world and
with everyone making
fun of me, so I'm hanging myself." replies the
blonde.

"Well, you've got to put the rope around your
neck if you want to do
that," offers the man helpfully.

"Well, I tried that," says the blonde, "but I
couldn't breathe."