Jokes

[bliss]

A man comes home from a night of drinking with the boys. As he falls through the doorway of his house, his wife snaps at him, “what’s the big idea coming home half drunk?”

The man replies, “I’m sorry, honey. I ran out of money.”
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Whats the difference between light and hard????



Men can sleep with a light on!!!!!
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The new hooker just finished her first trick. When she came back down to the street , the seasoned veterans all gathered around to hear the details.

She said “well , he was a big muscular and handsome sailor”. “Well , what did he want to do?” They all asked. She said ” I told him that a straight lay was $100, but he said he didn’t have that much”.

So I told him that oral sex would be $75, but he didn’t have that much either”.

“Finally I said, well how much do you have”? The sailor said that he only had $25.

The new hooker said “well, for $25 all I can do is service you by hand”.

He agreed and after getting the finance straight, she said “he pulled it out and I put one hand on it, and then a second hand above the first and then the first hand above the second hand”

“Oh my god” they all exclaimed, it must have been huge,then what did you do?”

I loaned him $75!” she said.