Jokes

[cobra de capell]

Senator Ted Kennedy (D-Mass.) dropped his commitment to support Senator John Kerry (D-Mass.) in a 2008 presidential race. Kennedy said he doesn't plan to immediately endorse another candidate and still might support Kerry. But Kennedy offered strong praise for what he called two "formidable figures who are connecting with rank-and-file Democrats.”

“While I have the utmost respect and admiration for Senator Kerry, I want to keep my options open,” Kennedy said. “I was particularly impressed by the showing demonstrated by Hugo Chavez’s landslide win in the recent Venezuelan presidential election. I sense a rising buzz among Democrats for this man-of-the-people. I could throw my support to him should he seek the Democratic nomination.”

Kennedy also said he is considering the qualifications of current Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. “As an outspoken leader of the coalition that defeated America’s aggression in Iraq, I think Ahmadinejad merits a look,” Kennedy contended. “He’s knowledgeable about the Middle East and strong on moral values. He would never condemn a man who had to swim for his life to escape the clutches of a seductive whore.”

After being apprised by Sen. Kerry’s people that Chavez and Ahmadinejad are ineligible, Kennedy's office issued a statement clarifying that Kennedy will support Kerry if he declares his presidential candidacy. “Senator Kerry has graciously provided additional information that has reassured Senator Kennedy that he is worthy of his continued support,” the statement read.

“I simply told my good friend Senator Kennedy that there was no need to go to the labor of amending the Constitution to permit these foreign gentlemen to run for president,” Kerry said. “There isn’t anything either of them could do that I wouldn’t be able to do better.”

In related news, Kerry announced that he was taking his stand up comedy routine to Iraq to entertain the troops. “People say that my ‘botched joke’ offended our troops, but everywhere I go I’m hearing laughter,” Kerry said. “It’s exhilarating. The guys in Iraq deserve to see my act live.”
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