Jokes

[cobra de capell]

May be some repeats here, but females just don't get it, so repeating is mandatory, also more than few coolies seem to be blonds!

Men strike back!
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It’s one of those “evolutionary things” that allows
Them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with “A man once told me...”

How do you fix a woman’s watch?
You don’t. There is a clock on the oven.

Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can’t shut up long enough to
build up the required pressure.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He’ll shut up once you let him in.

What’s worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won’t do what she’s told

I married a Miss Right.
I just didn’t know her first name was Always.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive by 90%.
It’s called a Wedding Cake.

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
_______

Subject: Blonde Cookbook



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monday:
Tom wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn’t dress. What a surprise when Tom brought a friend home for supper

Tuesday:
It’s fun to cook for Tom. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.

Wednesday:
A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kind of silly but I took a bath anyway. I can’t say it improved the rice any.

Thursday:
Today Tom asked for salad again I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients; lay on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Tom asked me why I was rolling around in the garden..

Friday:
I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put the ingredients in a bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left.

Saturday:
Tom’s did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday. I don’t have any clothes that fit it, and for some reason Tom keeps counting to ten.

Sunday:
Tom’s folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast but all I had was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius.. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY. This has been a very exciting week! I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Tom. If I can talk Tom into buying a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with a chocolate moose.