Jokes

[cobra de capell]

A car gets a flat on the interstate one day. The blonde driver eases it over onto the shoulder of the road, carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk.
She takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic. The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies and private parts to approaching drivers.

Not surprisingly, the traffic becomes snarled and backed up. It isn't very long before a police car arrives. The officer, clearly enraged, approaches the blonde of the disabled vehicle yelling, "What's going on here?"

"My car broke down, officer" says the woman calmly "Well, what the hell are these obscene cardboard pictures doing here by the road?" he asks.

"Helllooooooo!!!!" says the blonde. "Those are my emergency flashers!"

_____

A Department of Water representative stopped at a ranch and talked with an old rancher. He told the rancher, “I need to inspect your ranch for your water allocation.”

The old rancher said, “Okay, but don’t go in that field over there.”

The Water representative said, “Mister, I have the authority of Federal Government with me. See this card? The card means I am allowed to go WHEREVER I WISH on any agricultural land. No questions asked or answered. “Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?” The old rancher nodded politely and went about his chores.

Later, the old rancher heard loud screams and saw the Water Rep Running for the fence and close behind was the rancher’s bull. The bull was gaining on the Water Rep with every step. The Rep was clearly terrified, so the old rancher immediately threw down his tools, ran to the fence and shouted out:

“Your card! Your card! Show him your card!”