Jokes

[cobra de capell]

A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where Nancy Pelosi happened to appear.

Ms. Pelosi took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease.

'Would you mind telling me, Doctor,' she asked, 'how do you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?'

'Nothing is easier,' he replied. 'You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track.'

'What sort of question?' asked Pelosi.

Well, you might ask, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?'

Pelosi thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, 'You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history.'
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Two managers are going over their budget for the next year.

After analyzing expenses and revenues, they realize that they will have to lay off one of their two assistants, Jack or Jane.

They go back and forth but can't decide who to lay off.

Finally, one manager decides that they will lay off the first person who gets up from their desk.

In the meantime, Jane is hard at work but suddenly gets a headache. She gets some aspirin from her desk drawer and gets up to get some water.

The managers get up to break the bad news to Jane.

"Jane, I need to talk to you. I've got a problem. I either have to lay you or Jack off..."

"Well" she says, "could ya jack off, I feel like s#@t!
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A guy came home from a night out with the guys to find his wife already in bed sleeping. As he came out of the bathroom he noticed she was sleeping with her mouth open (I WONDER WHAT PEOPLE WOULD THINK IF I STOPPED HERE?). Getting an idea, he quickly grabs a couple aspirin out of the medicine cabinet and pops them in her mouth. He waits patiently as they disolve. The bad taste wakes her up and she spits, trying to get the bad taste out of her mouth. Seeing him standing there she asks..."What is that taste?" He replies..."aspirin". To which she answeres, "I DON'T HAVE A HEADACHE!" Grinning he answrers, "GOOOOOD!"