Draft Older People

[Ron61]

Older Guys

Drafting Guys Over 60 (that's Me & You)


I'm over 60 and the Armed Forces say I'm too old to track down terrorists.
(You can't be older than 35 to join the military.)

They've got the whole thing backwards. Inst ead of sending 18-year-olds off
to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a
military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters:

Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds.

Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than
28,000 additional seconds p er day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky s oldie r
is a dangerous soldier. If we can't kill the enemy we'll complain them into
submission. "My back hurts! I'm hungry! Where's the remote?"

An 18-year-old hasn't had a legal beer yet and you shouldn't go to war
until you're at least old enough to drink. The average old guy, on the
other hand, has consumed 126,000 gallons of beer, and a jaunt through the
desert heat with a beer and an M-60 would do wonders for the old beer
belly. (Note there are 24 hours in a day and 24 bottles in a case.. another
convenient way to measure time!)

An 18-year-old doesn't like to get up before 10 a.m.

Old guys always get up early to pee.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put
them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and
yelled at and we like soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for
guns.

We like them almost better than naps.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat
and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hangin g over the side, nor
did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. I can hear the
Drill Sgt now, "Get down and give me ... er one."

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy. I've never seen
anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to
shave, to carry on a conversation, and to wear pants without the top of his
butt crack showing and his shorts sticking out. He hasn' t figured out that
a pierced tongue catches food particles, and that a 400-watt speaker in the
back seat of a Honda can rupture an eardrum and that a baseball cap has a
brim to shade eyes, not the back of his head. These are all great reasons
to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending
them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten cowards who attacked us on
September 11. The last thing an enemy would want to see right now is a
couple of million old farts with attitudes.

Share this with your senior friends. It's purposely in big type so you can
read it.

[wtm442]

Thanks Ron from a 60 year young member.

[Ron61]

Warren,

Since the terrorists like tunnels so well, we could just have you drive your cobra through them and stand back and watch the ceilings fall in.

Ron

[Bill Bess]

Ron, Your Absolutely Correct. Old Guys (like Me) That Are On The Public Dole (ss) Are Just Taking Advantage Of The Government, At Least We Would Be Earning Our Monthly Pay Check...that Is If We Lasted A Whole Month In The Service .
In Addition, We Do Like Guns And Hate Everything, So We Would Be Good Killers (hunters)..all We Need Is Plenty Of Beer And A Lot Of Naps.

Sounds Good To Me, Old Bill From Az

[4RE KLR]

Yea Ron, That sounds great. Now where did I put my glasses?

[Ron61]

Bill,

When you get near my age, you will have forgotten about todays things as they will be in history books. As for taking advantage of the Govt., I just consider that as payback for all they steal from us.

Steve,

At least you are young enough to have glasses.

Ron

[wtm442]

Gee, now that I walked all the way over to Iraq, what did I want to do here?

[Ron61]

Warren,

Do what I do and make yourself a note before you start anywhere. Except I kept forgetting the notes so I bought a little pocket tape recorder that is sound activated and when I think of something I want to do, I just say it and later I can sit down and play the tape back and hear all the things I was going to do and forgot about.

Ron

[Silverback51]

Works for me. Where do I sign up.

[jams]

This would be an easy transition for the Air Force- All of the old timers can pilot the remote contol planes from home and traget a few "hamper heads"

[fsstnotch]

This is funny because i seen a guy in the chow hall today... he must have been in his 60's. Could barely walk and carry his tray!!! I thought to myself.... I hope we never get invaded! Because he surely couldn't run!

[392cobra]

Ron,
The way you put the bug in the ear of Romulus and got the ball rolling,I think it would be best for you to be drafted first.

[Ron61]

Fred,

I am all for it. I am worthless for anything else any more. I can't run but I can sure dig.

Ron

[trularin]

What about us younger than 60 guys?

I think this is discrimination. I think the 50s and 55 year olds should be able to go as well.

What were we talking about?

[Ron61]

I think we were discussing Fred's Turtle, or was it Warren's???

Ron

[392cobra]

Having been drafted once,do you think they can draft me twice ?
I would bet they would make an exception for me if not.

Frenchy is looking in joining up with the USO so she can "visit" the troops.

[4RE KLR]

I could just se frenchy on stage performing.

I'll bet the troops would enjoy that a lot.

[392cobra]

Originally Posted by 4RE KLR

I could just see frenchy on stage performing.

I'll bet the troops would enjoy that a lot.

After having been subjected to her for 10 months now,I've learned a few things about her.

She would be "performing" on stage,back stage,in the barracks and in the field.Frenchy is more than willing to give 110% to the troops.

[4RE KLR]

Like I said, I'll bet the troops would enjoy it a lot

At least some of them.

[wtm442]

Turtle must be a draft dodger. I just saw him walking north toward Canada.

Turtle come back here! There is no draft for turtles .... only frogs