Real live add from Craig's List

[Rick Parker]

Dear Crazy-As-Bat-****-Lady:

I am honored that you chose my ad for a mini fridge out of all the ads you could have chosen. It makes me feel good that my mini fridge will be supplying you with the ice cold beverages you've obviously become accustomed to.

Next time you answer one of my ads, please note the following:

1. I am not Home Depot. If you travel thirty minutes to pick up a bulky 40-pound object, please come prepared with the necessary items you'll need to secure it to your vehicle. Yes, I have rope. I have a lot of rope. I have many different colors and sizes of rope. No, you can not have my rope. The ad said I was giving away a fridge, not a fridge with rope. Nor was I offering a fridge with padding so that the pleather seats on your piece of crap 89 ford pinto with no hub caps car don't get marked up.

2. What part of ' must pick up' in the ad was confusing to you? Yes, I have a vehicle. No, I don't want to haul your fridge all the way to East Bumble**** on the coldest day of the year. No, I'm really really sure I don't want to do that. No, really. I'm sure.

3. Please call me only once with ALL your questions. I left for the day, and had 5 messages on my answering machine, the last one was at 11:30 pm. Frankly lady, you were sounding a bit too crazy by the end of the day. It's a fridge. A small metal box that keeps **** cold. I don't have the fridge's family tree. For all I know the fridge's was conceived by a slutty young Maytag that graced some hillbilly's side porch. I don't know the exact age of the fridge. I bought it a few years ago, I used it for a couple of months, ok, I lied, I used it a whole year. The fact is, you're not buying a race horse, you're buying a used fridge.

4. No, I will not throw in a couple bucks of gas money to pick it up because your anal retentive eyes picked up the ittiest, bittiest hairline scratch with a microscope so it wasnt completly described. I'm not making judgements on you, but I'm pretty damn sure Donald Trump didn't send you across the state to pick up a used fridge for Trump Towers. Though I'd wager the whole concept of the mini-fridge bar is a familar one to you.

5. Yes, you can unplug a fridge without any harm to the fridge. Believe me, the fridge is fine. The manufacturers have figured out a way to extend the life of a fridge that has been unplugged. Yes, I'm absolutely sure of that. No, you did not have to leave 2 messages about your concerns with the fridge being unplugged, and frankly it was a little embarrassing having the same conversation with you in my driveway where my neighbors could hear.

6. No, I don't have the operating instructions. I can write them down for you though: Plug fridge in. Open door. Put crap inside. Take crap out when it's cold. Eat or drink crap.

7. I am not a fridge pimp. I don't have any more fridges at that price.No i dont have one in a diffrent color to match your other appliances, No, I don't know where you can get another fridge just like this one for your friend. Yes, I know it's in great condition, and I'm sure you'd like your other crazy-as-bat-****-mini-fridge-finding-friends to have one just like it, but this is all I have. Here's a thought, there's this online classified ads website. Yeah, you may have heard of it, it's called CRAIGSLIST. I dunno, maybe, just maybe, in this great land of ours, there's another mini-fridge being advertised there.

8. Please remove my phone number from your address book. I think our relationship is over. Oh, and if you've added me to your AIM Buddy List, please delete me. Please. I beg you.


Yours truly,

the guy that gave you the fridge

[Ron61]

Darn good thing she never got a car from him. Some people are really unbelievable about stuff like this. A few years ago a friend of mine had a frige that was about one year old and he needed a new one that was larger. The old one was in perfect condition, not even a scratch, so he set it on his front porch with a For Free sign on it. Several people stopped looked at it and wouldn't take it. He was getting frustrated and I told him to put a For Sale sign on it with a price abut double what one like it would normally cost if it was in that shape and that new. He did so and he said the first person that looked at it bought it as he cut the price by a few dollars and they thought they had beat him out of something. He knew the person and they are still using that smaller one and have never had a problem at all. In fact the warranty was still good on it.

Ron

[imagine2frolic]

More proof for thinning the gene pool

[Wayne Maybury]

I particularly like point 6. about the operating instructions.

Could you imagine being her next door neighbour or worst still, her husband?

Wayne

[lovehamr]

That had me laughing out loud in my office! Thanks Rick.

Steve

[392cobra]

Originally Posted by Wayne Maybury

I particularly like point 6. about the operating instructions.

Could you imagine being her next door neighbour or worst still, her husband?
Wayne

I think I was.

[DAVID GAGNARD]

Some years back, I took out the hard plastic bed liner out of my truck, got tired of stuff sliding around in the bed and it trapped moisture under it and the bed was rusting.....

I put it in the front yard with a sign........Free bedliner, fits Ford truck from 1990 to 1996............

No takers, got tired of moving it around to mow the grass, so I changed the sign to $100.00, guess what???? that night it was stolen!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One way to get rid of it..............

David

[Rick Parker]

Dave: Ain't it the truth! Bedroom addition for someone...................

[427 S/O]

David, I had the same thing happen..sorta. Changed out the bed in a 84 F-150 years ago, put the old one out by a tree with 'free' on it. Two guys stopped and wanted the tail gate and 'promised' to come back and get the bed. Yeah, I let them have the tailgate and as they drove off I was thinking to myself...you stupid sob, they ain't never comming back and they didn't....