Long live the USA!

[jdog]

> Here are a few neat military comebacks...
>
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>When in England at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the
>Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of
>empire building by George Bush.
>
>He answered by saying, 'Over the years, the United States has sent many of
>its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond
>our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is
>enough to bury those that did not return.
>
>It became very quiet in the room.
>
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>Then there was a conference in France where a number of international
>engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break
>one of the French engineers came back into the room saying 'Have you heard
>the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to
>Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb
>them?'
>
>A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: 'Our carriers have three
>hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear >powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they
>have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a
>day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea
>water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in
>transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck.. We have
>eleven such ships; how many does France have?'
>
>Once again, dead silence.
>
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals
>from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian and French navies. At a
>cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of
>officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was
>chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral
>suddenly complained that, 'whereas Europeans learn many languages,
>Americans learn only English.' He then asked, 'Why is it that we always
>have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?'
>
>Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied 'Maybe it's because the
>Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to
>speak German.'
>
>You could have heard a pin drop
>
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>AND THIS STORY FITS RIGHT IN WITH THE ABOVE
>
>A group of Americans, retired teachers, recently went to France on a tour.
>Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane.
>
>At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his
>carry on. 'You have been to France before, monsieur?' the customs officer
>asked sarcastically.
>
>Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously.
>
>'Then you should know enough to have your passport ready.'
>
>The American said, 'The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it.'
>
>'Impossible. Americans always have to show you r passports on arrival in
>France!'
>
>The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly
>explained. 'Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in '44 to help
>liberate this country, I couldn't find any damn Frenchmen to show it to.'

jdog